Home » Mary's Musings » Selfishness


Many things can annoy me: slow drivers, mini-vans, lazy people. But the one trait that I would say is definitely my biggest pet peeve: selfishness. I can’t stand when people are only concerned with themselves. All they care about is me, me, me. They complain because something didn’t go their way. They don’t think of others but yet expect you to be there for them. Unbelievable…

When I’m feeling down or in a crummy mood, I know that if I do something for someone else, my mood does a 180.  It can be something as simple as forwarding an e-mail to a friend that means a lot to you (as I did yesterday only to get a sweet reply back) or sending a hand-written note.  Knowing I may have made their day or given them something to smile about makes me smile.  It energizes me to think of others.  I sent a note with our softball coach last week as they headed to first round of regional play.  It was full of my ‘musings’ and observations about the players and their season.  I didn’t write it for recognition…I wrote it because I wanted to do it.  I knew their coach would appreciate reading those comments.  I handed it to her last Wednesday…they got home on Sunday but I didn’t see her until today.  The first thing she said before giving me a hug was “I meant to say thanks for that letter.”  I touched her arm and said, “You’re welcome.  You’ve been a tad busy.”  I was having an okay day up until then…but then I couldn’t help but smile when she walked away.  I put someone else ahead of me…and yet it came full circle and benefitted me too.  One simple act created a ripple effect and that’s what life is all about…at least, that’s how I choose to see it. 

Some people just don’t get it….they don’t get that it’s not ‘all about them.’  I’ve got a friend at work who, when we’re trying to pick a place for lunch, will point to her head and say, ‘uh hello, do you not see the halo…it’s my turn to pick.’  it’s just a joke between us….I’ll just roll my eyes and laugh.  That’s funny but what is NOT funny is when people walk around daily thinking there really is a halo over their heads….with this chip on their shoulder thinking everyone should be at their beck and call.  If something goes wrong, they were certainly not at fault and couldn’t have done anything to change results….someone else should’ve done something.  Why people can’t be more positive and find the silver lining…how they can grow from an experience is beyond me…life is too short to be so self-indulged.  I’m so grateful that people describe me as sweet, caring, thoughtful. Nothing is more touching than that.  I’m blessed to be around people that call me friend…that know they can count on me and I can count on them.  I love giving our softball coach a hard time…but the same person that makes me laugh is also responsible for me having my moments where I can see her in a different light….an appreciative person who isn’t above telling her supporters thanks for being there for us.  I love that a simple note made her grateful…grateful to have people supporting her team.  It makes me appreciative of how I was raised…a way that told me that we’re put on this Earth to make it a better place.

Sadly, you can’t force someone to be selfless….they have to want to generate that feeling of gratitude and do for others what they’d want done for them.  You can only learn how you don’t want to be…


4 thoughts on “Selfishness

    • Oh ever faithful Roger, I can always count on you…back at ya, my friend! Does this mean I made up for yesterday’s post? Hope so 😉

  1. Wow! First, I agree. Selfishness is… uggh, you said it best! I’m over selfish folk too. My newest pet peeve is selfish drivers! Especially in this town, where obviously a Mercedes has more rights than my little Honda. It’s the way they act anyways…

    As always, nice piece. But secondly…Roger loves you! I’m jealous! I “WOVE” you too! And I’m a girl, so it means more, right? Like sistahs! Hee! Hee!


    • Selfishess all around is aggravating….I would bet you have the superficial, I drive this and live here attitude all around there….that would get old real quick.

      I partially wrote the piece because of something a friend back in San Antonio did…or didn’t do that really drove this home for me. Calling her a ‘friend’ is even a stretch. It was my way of venting too….but once I got started, I thought of what other aspects related to it bothered me and it flowed from there.

      Thanks for the comment though…and we do have that sister type of bond….girl, don’t you forget that 😉

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