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Guilt


Tonight at Bible Study, we were asked this question: What is the one thing that keeps you from being “all in” and surrendering to God.  It was one of those times you didn’t have to answer but could if you were so inclined.  I sat there thinking to myself, “one thing…I have too many.  I am not about to divulge all of them.”  One person shared their ‘one thing’ then another.  The subject of guilt was brought up.  As it was discussed, I felt my head nodding, knowing I totally agreed.  As I sat there, I felt the guilty feeling start to consume my stomach….like a barbell was placed on my chest.  I know I should watch certain shows.  I know I should read the Bible more than play on my phone, read books for pleasure or watch tv before going to bed.  I know I should…yet I don’t do it.  Our ‘coordinator’ of the Bible Study brought up this very eloquently-put saying how we “fight temptation and flee opposition” when should do the opposite.  Temptation stares us in the face and we want to fight it and win.  But when we hit opposition, we run like hell.  We feel guilty and cower, hide so no one can see us.  We feel ashamed.  Yet the thing we forget so easily is that God isn’t ashamed.  He’s patient and is there waiting for us, no matter what. 

My goal is to start running away from temptation and toward God.  That is how I will win and become who I am supposed to be.  Fighting temptation increases chance of giving in to that temptation.  I can’t do that.

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