Do I really want to go back there? That was the question I asked myself the other day when I got a phone call from someone who is practically my second mother. She was describing some issues her daughter was having and reached out to me for help. “You’ve just always been there,” she said. Prior to my moving to Oklahoma, her daughter (Lori) and I used to be close-we hung out or talked almost every day. I didn’t realize how one-sided our friendship was until I removed myself from the situation. Making that choice was one of the best decisions I have made. Even though I now live hundreds of miles away, I maintain frequent contact with her Mom. Her Mom asked me to write a letter to Lori as part a church project. When I read the request in an e-mail, my gut reaction was “No way- I am done with all of that.” Her Mom called later that night and we chatted. During the course of the conversation, I understood why she sought my help and ended up changing my mind. I no longer feel like I have to fix Lori or let her problems bother me. Even if I have moved on, I still care about her well-being.
Before beginning the letter, I’ll admit that there was a part of me that wanted to just unleash on her…share every thought that was going through my head. But that would have served no good to her and this was not about revenge-it was about getting her on a healthier path. While it took at least 3 drafts, I finally completed the task. I am glad I chose to go through with it as well.
I am so blessed to be surrounded by true friends and sincerely want the same for Lori. This morning at church, the homily discussed wells and the times we need to cover up the bad ones and look for a cleaner well. As I sat listening to Fr. Jim speak, I smiled. I was meant to help Lori cover up the damaged well and embark on finding a new one. God works in mysterious ways and I am grateful he gave me the chance to answer the call.