Picking our Battles

The homily for Ash Wednesday’s service revolved around the beginning of Lent and how Catholics should approach the next 40 days.  Like many others, up until that moment, I was pondering what to “give up” for Lent.  Granted, I would’ve learned to be more appreciative of whatever I gave up come end of Lent.  However, Fr. Jim had another plan for me.  He said perhaps instead of taking the easy road and giving up something like sweets, give up something that really could have a more profound effect like one of the 7 sins: greed, lust, gluttony, envy (to name a few).  As I drove the short 3 minute stretch from the church to where I park for work, I thought about his homily.  The sin that seemed to strike a chord with me the most is envy.   Too often I will find myself wishing I had more in my life-this could be material things or even a relationship.  Lent is a perfect time for me to step back and simply be grateful for what I do have instead of wasting any time on what I wish I had.   No good comes from being envious of other people, relationships, etc…  Why not count myself lucky for having people around me who can set an example for me?  I would much rather focus on the good.  Life’s too short for anything else.  I have been so fortunate to be blessed with not only a great family but wonderfully genuine friends and co-workers.  They make coming to work not only fun but make me feel like I can get through the day because of them.   I have faith that everything will work out….one day, I will no longer get that funny little feeling  of jealousy or envy when it comes to relationships.  My time will come and even if it doesn’t, I won’t let envy blind my ability to embrace any opportunities that come along.

I was reminded this week that just when we think we’ve gotten past the big hurdle, the battle begins again.  We feel defeated and frustrated…like we’re not making any headway or progress.  While easier said than done, we need to trust ourselves by holding our head high and keep forging ahead.  There will be people who will try to create roadblocks for us but we must persevere.

No More Excuses

As I write this, it’s Sunday night.  I am ending the weekend on a proud note.  For the past 3 weeks, my weekends have been full of choices that were based on fun, what was convenient for me and what I wanted to do.  Today, I made room for a choice based on one other factor: what I should be doing.  I was out running errands and got done about 4:15.  I had two options-go home and maybe do something productive….or kill some time before 5:00 mass.  I chose the latter and am glad I did.  The season of Lent starts this Wednesday.  I shouldn’t need a reason to get back into attending mass again but certainly doesn’t hurt.  In addition, a person close to me is having surgery tomorrow.  Giving up one hour to spend some time with God was a way of showing him how grateful I am that I know he’ll watch over her tomorrow. 

The second reason I am proud of myself is because I worked out tonight for the first time in months.  I felt really good while I was exercising.  I can’t help but laugh now as my shoulders are already sore and I will be slow going up the stairs tomorrow.  But…that’s not the point.  I stopped procrastinating and finally followed through.  I hope this is the start of another good bit of change for me.  Giving up two hours of my time to make myself healthier in more ways than physical is well worth it to me.

The Power of Music

I don’t know about you but whenever I need a boost to my mood or a jolt of energy, I turn to music.  No matter what, I’m never let down.  Whenever I need to clean, before I reach for the vacuum, I make sure my iPod is turned on and ready to go. Like so many, I was saddened to hear about the death of Whitney Houston.  She had such an amazing voice…so unmistakable.  In the wake of this tragedy, there is a positive: we will always have her music. 

For me, when I hear certain songs, I’m immediately taken back to a certain place, with a childhood crush, in our suburban on a family trip…or in my own car singing without a care in the world of who can see me.  As a tribute to Whitney, and to all artists out there, I have listed some of my favorite songs and the memory I have of them:

1. Everything I Do, I Do It For You, Bryan Adams: what I informally dubbed “our song” as it was the song my childhood crush and I danced to in junior high what feels like a lifetime ago…
2. Roll On, Alabama: played religiously every time we drove from San Antonio to Chicago (or practically every road trip we took as a family…my Dad was a saint for being patient with us as we would barely pull out of the driveway when me or my sister would ask, “Dad, can you put this tape in?”  Yes…I said tape…that small thing you held in your hand…had two holes in it and you could manually rewind.  Good times.
3. Could I Have This Dance, Anne Murray: my Mom introduced me to her music-great voice and I just love the words in the song…hopeless romantic, yes, afraid so.
4. You Raise Me Up, Josh Groban: Inspirational….Tear-Jerking…great voice…enough said.
5. Hold On, Wilson Phillips: birthday parties at the skating rink….more recently though, scene from Bridesmaids….love, love that movie!
6. I Won’t Let Go, Rascal Flatts: made me cry while playing at my nephew’s 8^th grade graduation
7. The Cowboy Rides Away, George Strait: always plays this last for his encore…seen him in concert few times….never gets old…and boy, does he age well!
8. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue, Toby Keith: gives me goose bumps every time I hear it…makes me proud to be an American!
9. If That’s What It Takes, Celine Dion: my sister surprised me with trip to Vegas a few years ago and we saw Celine in concert…she sang this in French…absolutely beautiful…even if I couldn’t understand all of it.
10.  The Dance, Garth Brooks: great song about enjoying the little things in life
11. Save the Last Dance For Me, Michael Buble: no memory other than every time I hear this, I can’t help but turn up the song and sing along…and oh that voice!  I know it was in some movie I’ve seen but blank on which one.
12. The Town I Loved So Well, Phil Coulter: Irish singer whom my parents love…this songs makes my family think of a town we all love-Lake Geneva, Wisconsin where we used to vacation twice a year.
13. Old Time Rock ‘n Roll, Bob Sieger: wedding receptions come to mind…such a fun song for dancing
14. You’ve Got a Friend, Carole King: such a classic…and makes me grateful for my friends
15. Happy Xmas (War is Over), Celine Dion: I start playing this shortly after Thanksgiving-great words but really, it’s Celine…what’s not to love!
16. Believe, Josh Groban: from the movie The Polar Express….reminds me of Christmas…I watch this movie every year too.
17. I Gotta Feeling, Black Eyed Peas: another perk to working at OU, got to see this concert for free since I volunteered to work the concert….they performed before another of  my favorites, U2 hit the stage….fun, fun night and memory!
18. Hello World, Lady Antebellum:  great song with very moving video…each time I watch, can’t help but stop what I’m doing…looking forward to seeing them live with a girlfriend in April.
19. For Good, Kristen Chenoweth: great song…she sung it live on the tribute to Oprah

And last, but not least…

    20.  Greatest Love of All, Whitney Houston: no specific memory but great song that makes me reflect on being proud of the person I’ve become. 

These are just a few of my favorite songs.  I love that when people hear songs, they have their own unique memory.  Maybe a song makes them cry, laugh, shake their head and think I can’t believe I did that….whatever thoughts run through your head, they’re all thanks to music.  Simple, yet powerful.

Life’s tests

As we near the end of the first month of the year, I figured now was a good time to do a check of the goals I made just a few weeks ago.  I came across a quote that was simple, yet fitting: “The only way to have a life is to commit to it like crazy (Angelina Jolie).”  I want to have a life I’m proud of and do not honestly feel like I have “committed to it like crazy.”  I guess this has come to a head recently.  Granted, I am making a more conscious effort to go the extra mile and follow through better…..but not on everything.  I pick the easy things…like my responsibilities at work.  Consequently, the personal vices and unhealthy habits are taking a back seat.  The cool part that keeps me going is that I know my self-confidence will soar, my overall well-being will be on a whole other level and I’ll be happier with myself.  I can’t help but smile thinking about that.  I get in these little ruts when my mind gets consumed with fixing what is bothering me.  Life’s too short for these choices.  If I made the same effort on my habits as I do my work, I’d be in a better place.  Well, reality check to me: it’s not impossible.  No more being in a funk….no more telling one of my closest friends “I’m fine” when it’s not the truth.  Many people have issues they’d rather do without but that is part of life.  We encounter challenges to test us and make us better. I’m determined to not only pass the test, but leave it in the dust when I’m done.

 “It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My Version of Chicken Tetrazzini

 

While doing errands on Saturday afternoon, I made a stop in Homeland (a small grocery store).  In wondering what to make for dinner (and I do this a lot…the wondering part), I remembered I had some chicken in the freezer.  What happens frequently is that I stop there….I mean, it’s chicken.  It’s not that hard to pair it with something.  Nevertheless, I pulled out my Blackberry and typed in one of my favorite meals, Chicken Tetrazzini.  I’m an intelligent person…surely I can handle this.  I grabbed the items the recipe called for and I made my way to the check out.  I had called my Mom when this idea first started swirling in my head.  I never heard back from her so I was on my own.  This is not usually a good thing. But, I persevered….in other words, I had all the ingredients and figured ‘what the hell.’  I got home and unloaded the groceries.  I kept my Blackberry close by so I could refer to the recipe often and easily. 

  

       First, I boiled the spaghetti…..

 

                    Next, I shredded/diced up the chicken (my version of “cubing”)

After the pasta was done cooking, I put in strainer and left in sink.  The next step was to mix 2 cans of  cream of chicken soup, water, and 2 cubes of chicken bouillon together until it boils.  I transferred the pasta to a glass pan and then added the chicken.  Lastly, I poured the soup concoction over the meat and noodles and finished by sprinkling cheddar cheese all over the top.  I set the oven to 350 and when it was ready to bake, I slipped the pan inside.  I have to say that by this time, no smoke alarms had gone off (yes, it’s been known to happen when I cook) and the meal in the oven looked downright  edible. 

 

                                      And we have the end product…..

 I may have to try this cooking thing more often…..

 

Welcoming 2012

I think it was 2011 when I said that I wasn’t going to make a list of resolutions.  I was just going to live my life and try to make good choices.  Well, that was a great attempt but lately I’m becoming more of a list person.  So, the following is a list of things I want to focus on in 2012 and beyond: 

• Write more handwritten letters
• Save more
• Make smart financial decisions (see #2)
• Monitor what I eat and work out more
• Take better care of myself (goes with #4)
• Get more organized at home and work
• Be more self-confident
• Devote more time to journal/blogging
• Travel more even if just includes day trips
• Lose old bad habits
• Not put off things on my bucket list
• Get involved in community projects

 

True Friends

“Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer.”  ~Author Unknown

The older I get, the more I continue to believe that when it comes to friendships, quality is more important than quantity.  When I think of the people in my life I am blessed to call my friends, I can’t help but feel loved.  I have had the privilege of recently acquiring not only a new co-worker but someone that has become a great friend.  Let me tell you, it’s pretty darn cool when I can come to work every day and look forward to the people around me.  Even though she’s only been with us about 2 months, Jenny has already been such a good influence on me and a complement to our office.  By sharing the same college, we work closely together so we’re in each other’s offices all the time. 

Along with our boss, Jenny and I recently attended a conference in Savannah, Georgia (separate blog with pictures to come).  Don’t get me wrong, the workshops were great but what I loved the most was just getting to hang out and spend time together.  Being around her is so easy and comfortable-we both feel like we’ve known each other forever.  We came back home closer and looking even more forward to working together to do the best we can at our jobs.  It’s so funny, when I would first hear of how many things we had in common-whether it be hobbies, travel or whatever….I would think “oh my gosh, seriously?”  Now, I just smile and think “yep, that fits…”   

“The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you’ve had.”  ~Author Unknown

Breakfast

I got up at a reasonable hour today (7:20ish) and started with my usual routine of brushing my teeth and then heading into the kitchen to start the coffee.  I went back into my room to turn on the tv and then grabbed my laptop before hopping back onto the bed.  About an hour into working on my personal statement for the Ph.D. program and my assignment for tomorrow’s class, my stomach growling took over.  I set aside my computer and decided on cinnamon rolls for breakfast.  Actually, they were twists but essentially cinnamon rolls….just in a different form.  I’m really not a breakfast person and I know that’s REALLY, REALLY bad….and unhealthy.  I know, I know…it’s the “most important meal of the day…” blah, blah, blah.  During the week, I’m just not good at setting aside time to make anything.  I did have two smoothies this week that sort of helped alleviate some hunger.  I’m trying.  Anyway, back to the cinnamon rolls/twists….after 15 short minutes, the dinging of the oven let me know that it was time to dig in….

Bye Week

Don’t get me wrong, I love watching my Sooners whether it’s at home or on tv when they are away from Owen Field.  However, since I work the football games and am usually pretty useless on the Sunday following a home game, I was thrilled this was a bye week for OU.  I knew I would actually have a chance of getting something done.  Last night, I vacuumed my apartment for the first time in well, too long.  I made a mental list of what I wanted to get accomplished this weekend.  These pictures can show it didn’t take me long….the crap was practically screaming at me…

 

When I get in these moods, I start off very gung-ho.  I tell myself that I’m going to get a lot done….all the surfaces will be clean and I’ll feel so good.  I then turn on the tv to have something to watch in the background.  One of my piles becomes pictures I want framed.  So I get up and find a coupon for Michael’s.  Back to the piles….I see an old magazine with an article about my Dad in it…so I begin reading and become engrossed in it….forgetting about the other piles of crap lying around me.  Naturally, I made the pictures my priority and added a trip to Michael’s to the agenda. 

Another thing I haven’t been to in a few weeks in church so I wanted to make sure I went today. After framing my pictures and doing a load of laundry, I changed for church.  After mass was over, I came home finish the piles. Well, that was the intention….but as of right now, not all the crap is off the counters….but there’s another day to the weekend left to go.  Plus, I have this to consume….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Memories

I was e-mailing back and forth with a long-time family friend yesterday.  What began as a response to a Facebook posting of mine turned into some reminiscing for both of us.  The topic of her mother, the late Patsy Rockwood, came up and that brought us both to tears.  She reiterated how much her mom thought of me and that she would be proud of what I’ve done with my life.  I made the mistake of reading her message during some downtime of yesterday’s football game.  As I began reading, I felt my eyes get water, so I quickly exited out of the message.  Knowing what to expect, I opened it back up later.  I smiled at what she wrote and memories of her Mom started flashing through my mind.  I loved her mother like my own-she just had this sweet way about her and we formed a bond.  When I was little, my Mom would take me to church with her.  On the way back from communion, I would spot “Pappa” as I called her, and would sit with her for the rest of mass.  She would stretch out her arm and engulf me in a hug.  Though her name was Patsy, I was too little to use her first name.  So she was, and will always be, Pappa to me.  We lost her too soon to cancer years ago but she will always be with me.

While doing errands today, I was listening to some music via my iPod.  The song “God Gave Me You” by Blake Shelton came on and for some reason, I started thinking about Pappa again.  It didn’t take long before the tears started flowing.  I laughed, saying to myself “hmm, maybe I won’t go to the store just yet.”  So I just kept driving.  I finally pulled over and let the tears come.  After composing myself, I looked toward the sky and said, “Oh Pappa, I hope you know how much I loved you….just show me that you know that.”  On my way back to the store, I’m driving down a side street.  I look up briefly to see a street sign on the right and smile: Rockwood Dr.  I turned around and pulled over by the entrance.  I grabbed my phone and took a picture of the sign.  As corny as it sounds, I couldn’t help but look up to sky and grin.